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Internet forum field guide: gear recommendations

Enter with caution. If you frequent any of the various woodwind-related Internet message boards, forums, or listservs, you have undoubtedly encountered some of the wildlife I will describe here. Remember that they can be dangerous creatures, and that it is often best not to attempt interaction with them.
One of the most common animal behaviors witnessed on the message boards is the exchange of gear recommendations. There are two primary families of wildlife the participate in this ritual: the askers and the answerers.
The askers
The askers all share a common behavioral trait: a proclivity for asking total strangers to blindly recommend instruments, mouthpieces, reeds, and other items. Their calls are varied.
Some prefer to remain hidden in the underbrush, offering no clarifying details:
hey guys first time on this board what reedz should I use lolz Read More “Internet forum field guide: gear recommendations”
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New endorsement deal
I am pleased to announce that, after several weeks of exciting and productive talks, I have signed on for an endorsement and development deal with an up-and-coming reed manufacturer. Here’s the official press release:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
April 1, 2010
Bret Pimentel Signs On As First FLAVOREEDS⢠Artist
FORT WAYNE, Indiana.—FLAVOREEDS⢠Flavored Clarinet and Saxophone Reeds, Inc., is pleased to announce the first in what it hopes will be a series of “fruit”ful relationships with professional woodwind players in developing and promoting its new professional line of premium cane instrument reeds.
The first FLAVOREEDS⢠Artist to join the roster is multiple woodwind performer and educator Bret Pimentel. Dr. Pimentel has performed with such acts as Dave Brubeck, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and the O’Jays, and is currently Assistant Professor of Music at Delta State University. He is an experienced performer on all the major woodwind instruments, and expects to bring this expertise to bear in consulting on new and current product lines.
“As soon as I made a verbal commitment to the company, I forwarded them some thoughts about their new Papaya-Mango Bass Saxophone Reedsā¢,” Pimentel said in a telephone interview. “I found them to be a little overpowering in the papaya department, with not enough mango. I’m working closely with FLAVOREEDS⢠to better balance the flavors.” Read More “New endorsement deal”
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Stuff my students say
What my students say What my students mean I was too busy to practice this week. My choices this week did not include practicing. I can play it perfectly when nobody is listening, I promise! When somebody is listening, I’m suddenly painfully aware of problems with my playing that I ignored in the practice room. I can play it, just not with the metronome. I can play the correct pitches in the correct order, but not with enough fluency to put each note where it belongs in time. In other words, I can’t play it. Right now I’m just trying to get the notes. I’ll add in the dynamics and articulations later. I might eventually get the “notes,” but don’t bet on me ever observing any of the other markings. The thing is, I’m just not good at _____ (rhythms, high notes, low notes, technical passages, lyrical passages, dynamic contrasts…). I wish to be excused from improving my playing. This _____ (etude, repertoire piece, technical exercise…) is boring. The way I’m playing it is boring. I practiced until I got it right! I played it wrong 99 times, then right once. Guess which will happen in my lesson, rehearsal, or performance? You’re mean. I’m unprepared. Related
Review: Vandoren “Maestro” score-marking pencils
I am always pleased to hear from companies that want feedback on their products. And as you regular readers know, I try to be as thorough and honest as I can in my reviews. A couple of weeks ago I bumped into a Vandoren representative at a conference, and he offered to let me bring home some samples of a new product line for review. These haven’t shown up on Vandoren’s website or social media yet (though they do seem to have appeared on the Woodwind and Brasswind, a little prematurely!), so as far as I know this is an exclusive scoop. Update: WWBW has pulled the product listing.Ā Update #2: read to the end for details on getting a free sample!
Vandoren has been doing some innovative things lately, and their new line of Maestro score-marking pencils is no exception. These are pencils specifically designed for the needs of the performing musician, and this focus is apparent in every detail. The pencils have a nice heft and balance to them, which the Vandoren rep tells me has to do with the hand-selected juniper wood harvested in the French Var Valley.

Click for larger The premium erasers are some of the best I’ve used for score erasures—easy on valuable sheet music while removing the most stubborn pencil marks, with almost no smearing. They are currently available only in medium-soft, but my Vandoren source tells me they are “working on a medium-hard eraser, and a hard eraser geared toward professionals.”
But, of course, the real question is: how do they write? I’m happy to report that, when it comes to writing, these pencils have exceeded my expectations in every respect.Ā The “lead” (graphite, actually) is, I understand, a proprietary formula designed for smooth, even writing on a variety of papers. But this is only part of the story.
My Vandoren source tells me that the real “secret” is the collars—the little metal ferrules that hold the erasers in place. While some “researchers” have suggested that the collar has little actual effect on the pencil’s writing characteristics, years of experience accumulated by some of the most respected woodwind players in the world say otherwise. And so I was not at all surprised to find that each collar has its own unique, shall we say, signature. Read More “Review: Vandoren “Maestro” score-marking pencils”
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Go practice
Internet forum field guide: the all-too-frequently asked questions
Welcome to the third installment of the Internet Forum Field Guide, a look at the wildlife that inhabits woodwind-related online message boards and forums. (Be sure to check out the first and second episodes as well.)
Today we look at common questions that are asked on the message boards. The diverse and varied answers as they appear in the wild are a discussion for another day; for brevity’s sake I will just provide the simplest, most accurate answer for each question.
Q. Hi you guys, rather than getting lessons with a teacher in my area, I figured I would become an amazing player by asking vaguely-worded questions here and getting a bunch of conflicting and possibly poorly-informed replies. Is this going to go well?
A. No.
Q. Hi you guys, I have ill-advisedly acquired an instrument of some make or model with which I am not suitably familiar. Can you please tell me that it was a really great find and is rare and desirable and “worth” some fantastic and precise amount of money?
A. No.
Q. Hi you guys, I do not by any stretch have sufficient disposable funds to obtain an instrument of playable quality. Can you recommend a model that is of the highest professional caliber but can be purchased for an unrealistically low cost?
A. No.
Q. Hi you guys, I am a student at one of the finest music schools, and I have weekly if not daily access to a very distinguished and successful teacher of my instrument. Since you all are perfect strangers and have undetermined credentials, would it be a good idea for me to ask you for suggestions on repertoire, equipment, and technique?
A. No.
Q. Hi you guys, if we each made a detailed list of all the instruments and accessories that we individually use, and posted them publicly here for some reason, would that be in any way interesting or useful?
A. No.
This concludes another episode of the Internet Forum Field Guide. Be careful out there.
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LOL.
Yeah!
This absolutely perfect! Thank you!
The eerily unsettling thing is a distant sense of self-recognition. I used a couple of these myself way back in the day….
Several of my private teachers would’ve hit Bingo during just one of my lessons. Ouch, my toes!
Excellent!
You have obviously been teaching the same students that I have been teaching, although one might substitute “my lesson books are in ______’s car, and they are not on campus”.